Materialistic

So, much as I'd like to post a little bit of a nonserious thing and just do all the posts I'm supposed to get done, I'm not going to. I'm gonna be a bit serious right now.

Hmmm. I'm trying to think of a good way of phrasing this. I'm not rich. I'm not poor, either, but I'm certainly not in the same economic class as many of the people who live in my town. By this town's standards, I'm lower-class. So, it's a little painful when I see things I want, I want BAD, but I can't afford. Even when I (eventually) get a job, that money's going to go towards going to college, not towards getting pretty things.

What brought this up is that I've been shopping for a new bathing suit recently. Not because I desperately need a new one. I don't. It's more of a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses thing. My friends can buy beautiful new bathing suits and clothes and such, and I wear the same bathing suit I've been wearing for three years. It's not an ugly bathing suit and I don't wear it much, so it's not like it's worn out or anything really. To be honest, it looks pretty good on me. But there are times when, for me, I'm ashamed to wear the same thing over and over again. I'm ashamed of my plain navy bathing suit, even though there's nothing wrong with it.

The mother of one of my best friends <3 asked me about bathing suits, because I was sitting with my friend as she was buying a bathing suit from Victoria's Secret, and I said my mom was getting me one from the Bon-Ton. Well, actually it ended up having to be one I didn't like nearly as much from Walmart, I think. I've settled.

So yes, I wear the same clothes I bought in 8th grade. Cool. I wear clothes that my friends gave me after they were done with them (and I love them a lot). I wear hand me downs and giveaways and DIY'd clothing. I don't know why this makes me feel ashamed or like I'm less of a person or less worthwhile or less... Something, but it does.

I guess it's something to think about. I try not to be bitter or covetous but it's really really hard sometimes. I think writing all of this out has helped a bit actually. Hm...

<3<3Spoonie